For the past six months, I’ve been in a dark place coping with grief and loss after the sudden unexpected death of my dear husband, Glenn. Tragically, he passed away in October, 2020 after suffering a stroke at sea while he sailed our boat West Wind II five hundred miles offshore heading towards New Zealand. He was on the last leg of a journey he started in 2008, one that would take him single handed around the world, west about. Going Solo is a blog we created together to tell that story. My situation was made even more lonely during the Covid-19 lockdown without the ability to be with and close to friends and family.
After months of grief counselling, and many virtual visits and conversations with friends here and around the world, I’ve been taking small steps toward recovering and healing and have recently found my way back into my studio. The urge to make art continues to be strong. What is emerging through the process is an area of strong, bright light amidst a darker field. It seemed that every painting I’ve made wants me to see that there is light.
The first one in the series is called Go the Distance which initially was created with the intention of telling a story about finding space and freedom of movement and a way forward. The piece has layers of acrylic paint and ink and marks of various kinds that were mostly covered up by the process, except a few, and one in particular. While I was examining it closely towards the end of the process, I stared at one mark in particular that looked to me like a small sailboat (difficult to see except in real life) on a vast expanse heading towards the horizon and into the light.
I didn’t draw a small sailboat and yet there it is, to me it’s clear and present. I’m not going to speculate about why I see a sailboat, except that it’s me trying to make sense of my world that’s been turned upside down. It’s also about me thinking about where Glenn is and how he might be. And, of course, it’s also about observing oneself and the stories we carry within us that become part of our inner landscape and how art makes it possible for us to tell those stories.
Here’s a few more in the series.
Sentinels, acrylic on canvas, 20 inches x 16 inches, 2021
Coming through the Pass, acrylic on birch panel 12 inches x 12 inches, 2021.
It’s Out There, acrylic on birch panel, 12 inches x 12 inches, 2021
Stepping Into It, acrylic on birch panel, 2021